Why won't Al Gore debate?

Let me begin by saying how honored I am to participate in a blog with Al Gore. However, I wonder why he won't debate Vaclav Klaus, the Czech President who makes the claim that environmentalists want to restrict our freedom?

"I many times tried to talk to have a public exchange of views with him, and he's not too much willing to make such a conversation," Klaus said Tuesday. "So I'm ready to do it."

Klaus spoke at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., in promoting his book, "Blue Planet in Green Shackles - What Is Endangered: Climate or Freedom?"

Klaus was also set to meet Vice President Dick Cheney.

As far as what is really at risk regarding Gore's charges that the planet is on the brink of destruction because it is allegedly being overly warmed by man-made pollutants, Klaus responded, "My answer is it is our freedom and, I might add, and our prosperity."

Pass the Plastic Please!

My Uber Green buddy, Hank Green recently posted an interesting observation about paper versus plastic. It turns out that plastic takes less energy and has a smaller impact on the environment than recycling paper bags. Paper "feels" more green because it's reusing a natural product but as Hank points out, "the amazing thing is that even with all the billions of plastic bags we use every year, they constitute about 0.03% of our oil use in the U.S."

I would like to suggest we go one step further. I calculated that .o3% of the U.S. oil consumption is equivalent to 2.2 million barrels of petroleum annually. My preference would be that we leave those 2.2 million barrels in the ground and as I was pondering this, I realized that's exactly what we should do. We should INSIST on plastic, in fact we should ask for all our groceries to be doubled bagged. By taking the plastic bags and sending them to the land fill, we will be returning these petroleum based carbon compounds back to the earth where we found them. Each plastic bag we throw away in the land fill represents more carbon out of the atmosphere and returned to mother earth.

Join me in an effort to maximize plastic usage. If we try hard, we might be able to pull enough petroleum away from those nasty cars and return them to the earth to save the planet! Pass the plastic please!

PETA joins Al Gore in call to Drill in ANWR

In a stunning reversal, PETA is joining me in a call to begin immediate oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR).

It has become clear to all rational observers that global warming cannot be reversed in our lifetime. My estimates have sea levels rising 28 feet in the next fifteen years and average temperatures in our arctic regions rising by 7 degrees. This will have catastrophic effects on the native Caribou herds living on the north slope. It is not too late to reverse the plight of our large antlered brethren however. I have devised a plan that will offset the impact on ANWR and reverse the effects of massive CO2 loading on our planet. This plan requires two bold steps:

1. We must begin drilling quickly to remove the large reserve of petroleum below ANWR. This will cause a sinking of the tectonic plates which will initiate a higher level of induction below the Brooks range. The resulting increase in magma below the Brooks range should cause Denali to blow and spew large amounts of ash into the stratosphere. This will initiate the volcanic winter we need to drive North America into a mini ice-age and save our planet.

2. If Denali does not erupt as I have predicted it will (and I'm never wrong) we will be forced to initiate a massive current reversal induction system. We will sell the oil to our European allies to keep oil prices at a level high enough to force continued migration to ethanol and use the large proceeds to pay for a wind turbine driven under water propeller system in the north Atlantic to reverse the flow of the gulf stream and drop the temperatures in eastern Canada by 14 degrees. The resulting drop in temperature will achieve the same affect as Denali blowing up.

PETA has agreed with me that we must move quickly to begin phase I, drilling. The second option they are reluctant to join me on at this time for fear of the impact on phi do plankton dependent on the northbound gulf stream.

If we are unsuccessful in our efforts and mass extension begins in the Caribou herds, Tipper has put together a tasty recipe for sun dried Caribou haunch in Gin sauce.